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bipolar_chicks's Journal

Bipolar Chicks Only!
Posting Access:
All Members , Moderated
A place where Bipolar Chicks can chat about female stuff without men.
Hi Chicks:

Welcome to the Bipolar Chicks Community! I'm going to tell you a little about myself & how this community started on this day, November 4, 2007.

For many, many, years I spent most of my time alone either laying in bed all day or going out to dinner alone. I always say I think I have spent more of my life sleeping than I have awake.

After many years of going to hell & back,I finally got diagnosed with Bipolar II at the age of 37. I'm surprised I'm still alive. I must have nine lives like a cat. In the past, I often asked myself why God was keeping me here. I would hear stories about fatal accidents, small children with incurable illnesses, people who had things to live for, but they died at an early age.

I would ask God why he didn't take me instead. I wanted to die & be taken out of my life of complete misery & pain. God never showed me any signs for why I was still alive. All I knew is he had to be keeping me around for something fabulous! Each time something good would happen in my life I would think this must be it this is why I'm still alive. Then I would be so thankful that God never answered my prayers when I wanted to die. I felt so lucky to still be here. Unfortunately, when you are bipolar things never seem to last forever except being Bipolar. Lucky us.

This past year I really started to think how I could make my illness be more of a positive thing. I figured if I have to live being bipolar for the rest of my life then I better make the best of it. So I began researching & learning everything I could about Bipolar Disorder. I joined the North Texas Bipolar Group through meetup.com & started attending meetings. We have a message board on meetup where I always posted helpful information about various things like getting on disability, good bipolar books to read, great websites, etc. If someone posted a question I would find out the answer. Best of all I loved doing this.

I then decided I wanted to spend more than an hour every other Saturday with members. So I started a Happy Hour after meetings, which was a success at getting to know other members better. Then I started an "All Girl Chit-Chat Night" for bipolar women. I knew there were things I wanted to talk about without men around & I was sure other women felt the same way. Our Group started in May & I'm happy to say there has been a lot of positive feedback.

In October, the original Group Organizer for the North Texas Bipolar Group Meetup stepped down from her position & left the group. I was asked to replace her. At first I was scared about whether I should accept because I didn't know if it would be too much stress for me. Now I am so very thankful that I gave it a chance & didn't allow fear to get in my way. I finally feel I have a purpose in life again. I haven't felt this way since I quit my teaching job in 2002.

I changed our group meetings every other Saturday from one hour to two hours & I changed the Happy Hours to Dessert & Coffee instead. Much safer & kinda healthier. I love our members they are all so "real". It's hard to find "real" people in Dallas. It took me ten years & when I finally found them they were all bipolar. Our conversations will never be dull. We can totally be ourselves without being judged & we understand each other. We "get it" when nobody else does. Now that's a friend worth having for a life time & then some.

Now I am 100% positive that God kept me here to help other bipolar sufferers. I've always loved helping others & I have always wanted to make a difference in someone's life. I guess it was worth all my trips to hell and back if that's what it took to get me where I am right now. So if you wonder why God is still keeping you here just remember there is a reason for unanswered prayers & one day you will know why. That's a promise!

Last paragraph update. My group organizing days ended offline. Just too overwhelming, plus I have OCPD. I was always obessed trying to make the group better. I'd spend hours & hours online doing research. It became my life until I had a breakdown on January 22, 2008. Here I am again hope some of you will start posting. I've changed the group so all people with mental illness can join. I'm undecided about allowing men. I know a lot of us have men issues & I'm sure some us will not feel comfortable if men are members. I think I'll keep it all chicks-no men allowed.